"R"

As the morning sun hits my eye,
The beautiful dream of us comes to an end.
No time with you can make my heart content;
No corner exists in which you I can’t view.
But reality can’t be misconstrued;
Dreams of us can never be true.

My soul cant help but fall in love with every glance.
Love the way words from your lips flow;
Love the way how your eyes make my heart glow.
All I ask from destiny is a chance.
But reality can’t be misconstrued;
Dreams of us can never be true.

Next to you I wish to be with every passing mile;
Next to you I feel all my pain numbing.
What magic do you possess that I cant stop hymning?
I am willing to do anything, even fall if it made you smile.
But reality can’t be misconstrued;
Dreams of us can never be true.

As the lights go out, tossing in my bed;
Imagine my bliss; next to me...you is what I see.
If our lips could touch, if you could only cuddle with me.
I will be with you tonight, even if it is just in my head.
But reality can’t be misconstrued;
Dreams of us can never be true.

In your eyes I see no me;
Not even an enemy should suffer this pain;
The pain of being ignored by the one whose love you wish to gain;
For once in my life I ask, how incomplete must I be?
In your heart I know there can never be a place for my name;
Still I hope for the day that real some of my dreams became.

Walking Down a Familiar Path

I have decided to ask out "R" (though the mind never stops questioning the decision). With the acceptance of the fact that I have feelings for her... I walk down a familiar path that, in the past, has brought nothing more than regret. I am ready to admit my weakness(only a few though... I'm a guy after all)....... I get attached very easily. With the acceptance of liking her... comes constant pondering of what will I say, how will I say, how will she react, will we still remain friends, am I doing the right thing, should I even ask her out? (and all these questions make u question if this is even "love" because you are debating every move). Are my questions a normal part of any guy? (what is normal btw?... lets not get into that discussion today) or is it my business major that has taught me to question and analyze every opportunity? (.. which if it is the case than education/money have forever tainted my notion of love... knew school was up to no good).
Whatever it is, I see myself doing the same crazy things I do when I start liking a girl... listen to love songs, dance around in the room, be nice to my roommates (not that i am not nice on a normal basis), more optimistic about random things, checkin myself in the mirror (i know this is "normal") and in general just being in a better mood (i even started writtin my blog again :)... given that I started it with talking about "M"... familiar path indeed).
I am not afraid of asking her or even the rejection, I am afraid of making myself vulnerable. But than a friend told me (who was told by his friend) that "what is love if not being vulnerable".. (ahhhh how good that sounds...if only ego could understand).... It is not the rejection that kills u.. it is to see her day in day out... a half fake smile (lets not forget the pity) in her eyes as she and u both try to pretend nothing happened and everything will be as before.

I guess no pain no gain. I guess a heartache is no big deal if it gives me a chance to be with her.

-Neo
P.S. In the next few blogs u will see mite see some depressing (since I am optimistic) or really joy filled posts. Love's in the air baby!